+artofpuppetry

atropinetorment:

hi hello im dave and sometimes i do really fucked up things and blog about it

WELL, THAT’S FUCKING WONDERFUL. MY NAME IS CAL.

ON THE LIST OF PLACES YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME, I’M ADDING BURGER KING. WHY? BOYS AND GIRLS, GENDERS OF ALL SPECIES AND AGES, GATHER THE FUCK AROUND. LISTEN TO MY BEAUTIFUL STORY ON WHY FAST FOOD DOESN’T FUCKING MEAN GOOD FOOD.

IT ALL STARTED ON A NICE, CLEAR, FRIDAY AFTERNOON. (IF YOU DON’T HAVE A CALENDER, THAT MEANS YESTERDAY. WHO KNEW?!) I WAS SITTING HOME, OR IN MY CASE, A SHITTY, BEATEN UP, OLD APARTMENT THAT SMELLS LIKE ASS AND BOOKS. I WAS SIMPLY BROWSING THE INTERNET; YOUR TYPICAL “TEENAGE” HUMAN BOY. QUOTATIONS ON TEENAGE BECAUSE APPEARANCES ARE SURE A FUCK TO THE FACE AREN’T THEY? ANYWAYS, MY STOMACH WAS GROWLING, SO IN RESPONSE TO IT’S DYING URGE FOR FOOD, I DECIDE THAT RATHER THAN MAKING SOME FANCY FOOD USING MY FANCY KITCHEN APPLIANCES WITH FANCY INGREDIENTS, I’LL JUST GO DOWN THE STREET AND PAY FOR A SEMI-DECENT MEAL.

I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING STAYED HOME. ALRIGHT SO IMAGINE THIS.

YOU WALK IN THROUGH ITS BEAUTIFUL, GLASSY DOORS. THE FIRST THING YOU SMELL IS NOT THE COUPLE THAT LIVES IN A TRAILER A COUPLE MILES AWAY IN THE BOOTH BY THE WINDOW, BUT THE OVER WHELMING SCENT OF GREASE AND PROBABLY A COW BEING SACRIFICED LIVE IN THE KITCHEN. FUCKING INCREDIBLE. I WOULD HAVE RAN OUT RIGHT THEN AND THERE, BUT MY INTERNAL URGE FOR FOOD SAID, “NO. FUCK YOU.”

I WALK UP THE COUNTER AFTER WAITING IN A BRIEF LINE. 5 POINTS FOR NOT MAKING ME WAIT 7 YEARS. THANKS. FIRST OFF, THE WOMAN TAKING MY ORDER LOOKS LIKE SHE’S STILL IN JUNIOR HIGH. SHE’S GOT THE VOICE OF A PREPUBESCENT HONOR STUDENT OKAY. I DON’T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES, BUT I FELT DISTRUST. I WAS NOT HANDING THIS WOMAN ANYTHING OUT OF MY FUCKING WALLET. OF COURSE, TO GET FOOD, I HAD TO. I PAYED THE FEE FOR A SIMPLE WHOPPER.

YET AGAIN, ANOTHER NICE, SHORT WAIT. I GET MY BURGER.

I’M NOT ABOUT TO LOOK LIKE A STUPID ASSHOLE AND EAT IN PUBLIC ALL ALONE, SO I HAVE IT TO GO. I LIVE NEARBY ANYWAYS, AS I FUCKING MENTION BEFORE, AND I SIT DOWN AT MY COMFY COMPUTER DESK. “HAVE IT YOUR WAY.” THE BAG IS SPEAKING TO ME IN IT’S FUNKY DISCO TEXT. I TAKE A BITE AND FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

IT TASTES LIKE SOMEONE TRIED TO SHOVE THE PATTY UP THEIR ANUS, AND SQUEEZE IT OUT WITH THEIR ASS CHEEKS STILL CLENCHED TOGETHER. THEN THE PICKLES!! OH, THE SWEET, BUTTERY PICKLES. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT PICKLES ARE ALWAYS THE BEST PART OF A SANDWICH. THESE PICKLES WERE THE FUCKING EPITOME OF SHITTY PICKLES.

I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE OTHER FUCKING BULLSHIT QUALITIES BUT I’M MAKING MY POINT CLEAR RIGHT NOW.

DO NOT DINE AT BURGER KING.

I’D INTRODUCE MYSELF TO ALL OF MY NEW FOLLOWERS, BUT THERE’S ABOUT 100 NEW ONES SINCE THE LAST TIME I COUNTED, AND I REALLY DO NOT FEEL LIKE DOING THAT.

SO WHATEVER. WELCOME I GUESS?

[HEARTY LAUGH] I WILL NOW ATTEMPT TO KEEP THIS BLOG ACTIVE.

[HEARTY LAUGH] idk if i even like homestuck anymore ohhh boy

will i ever be active here again? i dont know

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while

artofpuppetry:

for you who dont know tsumiki is from dangan ronpa and is the cutest angel ever ok i might rp there for a while



your name is calvin strider and you are not sure why you were turned into a human in the first place.

independent lil cal rp blog, all art belongs to dogrot.tumblr.com

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